10 Gems to Impress
I don’t like this WordPress style as much as previous ones, as I find I’m forced into giving away far more of the blog ‘plot’ (such as it may be) upfront, leaving far less room for surprise and fun and games than in the past. Ah, well, that’s my whinge over so on to this post, apropos our weekend 3-line whip from da Boss… 
X number of tips on sales were suggested as my contribution but, between you and me, I’m rebelling! I thought I’d share something completely different and far more likely to put a smile on faces instead: You’re going to get 10 gems to impress!
They’re maybe not quite what you were expecting, but hey-ho, they’re things from the mouths and pens of schoolchildren…
Romeo and Juliet tell each other how much they are in love in the baloney scene
Parsimony is money left by your father
The plural of spouse is spice
An aristocrat is someone who does somersaults on stage
Coup de grace: lawnmower
A parable is a heavenly story with no earthly meaning
The two major religions of Ireland are Catholic and Prostitute
Marie Curie did her research at the Sore Buns Institute in France
Mandolins are high officials in China
Henry the eighth had an abbess on his knee which made walking difficult
All of the above are allegedly selected from Could Do Better by Norman McGreevy
Now – how about yours?
Your own as a darling budding Einstein (or whoever) or ones you’ve heard from other little ‘uns?
BTW, your bonus gem: Did you know than an octopus is a person who hopes for the best? 
About Linda MattacksDoing what you love, your bit for humankind and the planet (if that turns you on) and making a decent, let alone great living don't necessarily come in the same package! With a background of sales training, marketing and market/marketing research spanning decades, for individuals and companies across the world from micros to corporations, Linda's finally found her niche... and some truly fabulous collaborators. Female employer, employee or entrepreneur, if you're not seeing the fruits of your potential value in the marketplace why not talk to Linda? Call +44(0)7879 628 367
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6 Responses to 10 Gems to Impress
All that jazz – All in A Day
Review of: Cousin Alice Jazz Music by Cousin Alice: Elaine Sturgess Reviewed by: Elaine Sturgess Rating: 5 On January 21, 2012 Last modified: January 30, 2012 Summary: What makes Alice so distinctive is her wonderfully smokey voice, a quality that furniture designer William Yeoward found so arresting at a concert she was performing for the [...]
Ah Linda… if only you could work the excerpt part of the theme when you added your post, you may not give so much away
Doh! Now she tells me…
Twitter: Linda_Mattacks
The two major religions of Ireland are Catholic and Prostitute
Priceless !
Out of the mouths of babes, Eileen
…
Twitter: Linda_Mattacks
Bob has been reading the book you mentioned, and also a couple of others on the same theme. Sadly, he has taken them to boarding school with him, otherwise I’d be able to nick a few classic lines from them to post here.
Although they are all very funny, it does sadden me that so many of them are the result of children simply not listening properly in the first place.
Someone sent me an email with similar gems the other day. I remember two:
- If you marry two people you are a pigamist but morons are allowed to do this.
- If it is less than 90 degrees it is a cute angel.
Twitter: german_tutor