Does my bum look big in this? A look at lying and selling
A train of thought along similar lines to Dr Greg House’s belief that everybody lies (especially patients) led me to contemplating that everybody sells, too.
When we think about it, the concept of everybody does it, lying and selling, has at least an essence of truth.
We lie and sell deliberately, inadvertently or unintentionally; effectively or diabolically; appropriately or inappropriately. What’s more we’ll do them with varying amounts of charm, enthusiasm, belief and integrity; voluntarily or under duress; for altruistic reasons or personal gain.
- Image by Buou via Flickr
And those are just the more obvious observations. If we were to delve really deeply into the underlying “why” we’d probably go mental and end up institutionalised. So that side’s probably best left to the therapists…
Lies and selling – let’s consider lies first
We gloss over bits that might cause us pain to examine or that hurt someone else unnecessarily.
A key consideration to me is that, if your dearly beloved has just spent an absolute fortune on an outfit that makes him or her feel absolutely fantastic, a little white lie in response to “Does my bum look big in this?” is not only acceptable, it’s probably a relationship saver…
Okay, now to selling
Let’s say you were the one who sold the outfit: If you hadn’t gently pointed out the drawbacks as well its good points, you should be shot!
Something like: “To be honest, a couple of the others you tried on were more flattering to your rear but with this one, when they see your top half and your stunning legs, who’s going to notice that bit in between?” would be a lot fairer to the customer – and might, just might mean that he or she comes back to you.
What’s even more important is a pre-sale qualification.
Meeting your customer’s real needs is your job
Let’s take the example we’ve looked at:
What does this customer believe he or she wants the outfit to achieve? What’s the purpose? Why? What’s it worth?
What’s the occasion? Who’s likely to be there? Who do they want to meet and talk to and about what? What kind of impression do they want to make?
Making a sale because right now you need the bonus it will bring, it’ll pay the rent/salaries/mortgage/food bill and so on are all true and necessary yet they’re purely short term and tactical. Building trust through meeting your customer’s real needs, on the other hand would make life much easier in the longer term.
Selling and building
So maybe it’s best to aim for a healthy balance: Some people will buy on price – it’s in their nature to get a ‘bargain’: If you have one on offer that will do the job adequately or well, why not go for it? Because this customer is unlikely to be of long term value to you: They’ll shop around for the ‘best’ deal each and every time.
With others, even if you don’t make a sale this time, provided they appreciate your unique value, you’re likely to see them again. Just be careful they’re not bloodsuckers who’ll pick your brains and then buy cheap elsewhere…
Which brings us to...
If you’re making this mistake you need to address it. Indications may be:
“I’m/we’re really, really good at what I/we do but people aren’t spending”/ “The market’s really tough”/ “We can’t compete with the competition”/ “Everything’s changed, we used to”…
Each and all of these statements has a ring of truth and relevance but none is particularly helpful in moving us on, is it?
And motivational techniques that we can access about visualisation of abundance, having feelings of gratitude and believing that the universe is working to attract our desired outcomes to us are unlikely to give us more than fleeting lifts unless accompanied by appropriate action.
3 simple Tips if you’re struggling
1.Go right back to basics and get real clarity on how what you do helps your customers – and why it knocks spots off the best of the rest
2.Look at your best customers, find out where they play and go play there, too
3.Get third party objective feedback and help
About Linda MattacksDoing what you love, your bit for humankind and the planet (if that turns you on) and making a decent, let alone great living don't necessarily come in the same package! With a background of sales training, marketing and market/marketing research spanning decades, for individuals and companies across the world from micros to corporations, Linda's finally found her niche... and some truly fabulous collaborators. Female employer, employee or entrepreneur, if you're not seeing the fruits of your potential value in the marketplace why not talk to Linda? Call +44(0)7879 628 367
View all posts by Linda Mattacks →
22 Responses to Does my bum look big in this? A look at lying and selling
All that jazz – All in A Day
Review of: Cousin Alice Jazz Music by Cousin Alice: Elaine Sturgess Reviewed by: Elaine Sturgess Rating: 5 On January 21, 2012 Last modified: January 30, 2012 Summary: What makes Alice so distinctive is her wonderfully smokey voice, a quality that furniture designer William Yeoward found so arresting at a concert she was performing for the [...]
Thanks Linda, the three tips are great, I’m going to try them. Think that people who are not struggling should try them as well because they are great for keeping customers as well.
Katherine
Hi Katherine, and ta – the simplest (common sense) ones are great stand-bys and usually work best
Twitter: Linda_Mattacks
Thanks Linda, the three tips are great, I’m going to try them. Think that people who are not struggling should try them as well because they are great for keeping customers as well.
Katherine
Hi Katherine, and ta – the simplest (common sense) ones are great stand-bys and usually work best
Twitter: Linda_Mattacks
Linda, your post underlines the importance of getting the meaning of selling right, i.e. that it is not about “selling to people,” but about “helping people to buy.”
There is one hell of a difference between those two, and thank you for highlighting the latter option – something we can all learn from.
Twitter: SuzeStMWrites
Hi Suzan
I was replying to your comment and taking so long with what I was saying that I thought: “This is either verbal diarrhoea or it needs a post of it’s own
! I’m hoping it’s the latter and now have plenty of notes…
In essence I believe that “helping people to buy” comes from the unique experience and value-add that each of us has to offer AND that the customer will appreciate and more or less happily pay us for…
That, as you say elsewhere, is down to investing time to really understand our market’s needs, meeting them and, where viable, exceeding them just enough…
Twitter: Linda_Mattacks
Linda, your post underlines the importance of getting the meaning of selling right, i.e. that it is not about “selling to people,” but about “helping people to buy.”
There is one hell of a difference between those two, and thank you for highlighting the latter option – something we can all learn from.
Twitter: SuzeStMWrites
Hi Suzan
I was replying to your comment and taking so long with what I was saying that I thought: “This is either verbal diarrhoea or it needs a post of it’s own
! I’m hoping it’s the latter and now have plenty of notes…
In essence I believe that “helping people to buy” comes from the unique experience and value-add that each of us has to offer AND that the customer will appreciate and more or less happily pay us for…
That, as you say elsewhere, is down to investing time to really understand our market’s needs, meeting them and, where viable, exceeding them just enough…
Twitter: Linda_Mattacks
I like that feeling when a customer buys because of a recommendation from someone they know. Like Katherine I really loved the 3 tips and will be trying them out
Many thanks Linda
Twitter: ethnicsupplies
Hi Ida
To be honest, from what I’m lucky to know of you, your base of integrity and your passion for what you’re doing:
Putting these three tips into practice should just make life easier for you and help put the icing on the cake
Twitter: Linda_Mattacks
I like that feeling when a customer buys because of a recommendation from someone they know. Like Katherine I really loved the 3 tips and will be trying them out
Many thanks Linda
Twitter: ethnicsupplies
Hi Ida
To be honest, from what I’m lucky to know of you, your base of integrity and your passion for what you’re doing:
Putting these three tips into practice should just make life easier for you and help put the icing on the cake
Twitter: Linda_Mattacks
Lovely article Linda and one that will help people create more and better sales
Hi Boss
Wouldn’t be the questionable word in the post title that got your interest?
Or the excuse to put that lurvly manic photo of Hugh Laurie up, would it?
Nah! You’re much deeper and more profound than that – I take those scurrilous questions back immediately
!
Twitter: Linda_Mattacks
Yes…. deep, profound… never even noticed Hugh Laurie… but now you mention him…
Lovely article Linda and one that will help people create more and better sales
Hi Boss
Wouldn’t be the questionable word in the post title that got your interest?
Or the excuse to put that lurvly manic photo of Hugh Laurie up, would it?
Nah! You’re much deeper and more profound than that – I take those scurrilous questions back immediately
!
Twitter: Linda_Mattacks
Yes…. deep, profound… never even noticed Hugh Laurie… but now you mention him…
I think asking for third party feedback is a great tip – often we’re too close to our own processes and company to see things in an unbiased way.
I often ask for feedback on Facebook and Twitter, and it’s amazing what people come up with that I’ve missed!
Of course, asking for feedback means leaving your ego at the door and accepting that you might not like the answers
Twitter: nikkipilkington
Hi Nikki
“I often ask for feedback on Facebook and Twitter, and it’s amazing what people come up with that I’ve missed!”
Now THAT’s a classic example of boxing clever – in the nicest possible way
!
It’s ‘going where your customers (and potential customers) play’, speaking their language and testing areas/ issues/ hassles that you believe are important to them to sort out.
And as for ego? Shmeego!
I’ll save the next bit you got me thinking of because you’re a great example on something else, too
Twitter: Linda_Mattacks
I think asking for third party feedback is a great tip – often we’re too close to our own processes and company to see things in an unbiased way.
I often ask for feedback on Facebook and Twitter, and it’s amazing what people come up with that I’ve missed!
Of course, asking for feedback means leaving your ego at the door and accepting that you might not like the answers
Twitter: nikkipilkington
Hi Nikki
“I often ask for feedback on Facebook and Twitter, and it’s amazing what people come up with that I’ve missed!”
Now THAT’s a classic example of boxing clever – in the nicest possible way
!
It’s ‘going where your customers (and potential customers) play’, speaking their language and testing areas/ issues/ hassles that you believe are important to them to sort out.
And as for ego? Shmeego!
I’ll save the next bit you got me thinking of because you’re a great example on something else, too
Twitter: Linda_Mattacks