Enough already…
How many of you give free advice?
How much time do you spend/give to helping someone and not charge, when your business usually involves charging for your time?
And what do you do to stop giving more time away than you can afford? What is the polite but firm way to say “well, much as I like you, I really need to move this to a paying service now”.
This can happen with skill swaps too – you can agree to provide a certain service but sometimes the time spent talking about it can use up whatever time you might have been able to offer, until it becomes something you wish you’d never bothered with, it’s not worth it and ends up being more costly than paying for the other person’s skill in the first place.
- Image by Mukumbura via Flickr
So we do need to grow a pair and be firm – easier said than done sometimes, and for some of us. What I have been doing however is putting processes in place that should avoid the potential to be taken advantage of. Outlining the scope of any support, even with friends, from the start will surely make it easier and clearer when the limit has been reached and the situation reviewed by both parties.
Another thing to do is make something of the help you offer. For every question I’m asked there is usually at least one blog post topic to be had, and that is helpful for me and for others with a similar issue.
As my business grows I can now bring in other people to handle customer service and handling – my PA now gets copied in on every client email as I know she will step in and point out when the scope is creeping.
What do you do to ensure that you don’t end up doing more for free than you are able to? Let’s face it, kindness is all well and good but we have to draw a line or go under.
About BabsBabs runs The Blogmistress to help people use WordPress for their websites and/or blogs. Here on Birds however she lets loose on just about any subject other than WordPress! Follow her on twitter
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8 Responses to Enough already…
In her shoes: My descent in entrepreneurial hell
In her shoes is a series of anonymous posts from women in business, sharing their experience. In your comments you are asked to answer the question – What would you do in her shoes? My story began 9 months ago; it is a story of self-realisation, friendship, love and betrayal. After 11 years at home [...]
I had a call last Sunday at 7.30pm from someone I know. This person only calls me when they want to work things through. We aren’t what I would term ‘friends’ but we do know one another from networking. After exchanging the initial pleasantries, I asked what brought you to phoning me tonight.’
I needn’t have bothered, he wasn’t in a good place, and did I have a minute he asked. No, I said. I felt very buoyed and strengthened by my new found courage. I then added ‘I’ve got some appointments tomorrow if that’s any good’. It’s interesting to see that he hasn’t contacted me since!
There are some people with whom I know I can do swaps and they work well within pre determined guidelines. I also make sure that there is some form of exchange from anyone I work with and am not charging.
Jackie Walker I lovingly typed…How do I learn to love myself
Twitter: jackiewalker
At least I don’t get that, Jackie – or rather I don’t answer the phone if I don’t know the number.
What I am doing is putting different levels of help onto the website, so I can direct people there rather than just say “no”.
But I do take responsibility – just continually surprised by those who I’ve helped before just coming back for more thinking it will always be free. Have to laugh at myself!
Babs I lovingly typed…Widgets Smidgets
Twitter: babssaul
I’m still learning how to say no. I really need to take on board your thought, Babs.
I have agreed at the moment to work on a new programme for redundant executives whereby we are trialling the service for free in return for evaluation, feedback and potential leads. It’s experimental, exciting and innovative – but at the end of the day I am still working for free on it.
** And I sit working too many hours on a voluntary role and not focusing on my own business.
Lynn I lovingly typed…Active Networking – a job search skill
Indeed, Lynn. It’s when I find that a day is filled with non-paid work while there is paying work to be done that I do wonder at myself and my sanity. I have found having Mary working with me to be useful – if something comes up that is unlikely to be earning I have to explain to her why we’re going to do it. Useful!
Babs I lovingly typed…Your WordPress posting page can look more like Word
Twitter: babssaul
This is something I find very hard to deal with. As you’ll know if you see how many rescued dogs and cats I have, even rescued potted plants (not joking) I am a sucker for a sobstory … and I do find myself advising people about their writing for free far more than I should. When it comes to whether or not I should send someone a free copy of one of my books, though, I usually say that I’d love to do it but my accountant would kill me. And that’s absolutely true – I’ve had the same accountant for 25 years and he is like a second father, rapping me on the knuckles when he thinks I’m being too soft!
I keep hoping that the old “karma” principle will apply here, although as you other ladies have pointed out there are always people who will take advantage of freebies without returning the favour. Ah well….
Suze from http://HowToWriteBetter.net
Suzan St Maur I lovingly typed…Slogans- the good- the bad and the ugly
Twitter: SuzanStMaur
Now you have a blog filled with advice to direct them too Suze, that’s what we do when we have people wanting lots of advice, we direct them to the blog and say here’s how to do it yourself but if you can’t get in touch for a quote.
I do wonder sometimes if “advice” actually means do it all for nothing, if it’s part of a grand ploy to wear you down until you say “OK, I’ll do it”.
Here on Birds we give away heaps and heaps and heaps of advice and because of that I don’t mind asking people for blog posts, I am not personally benefiting but our girls are.
Sarah Arrow I lovingly typed…Goodbye Edward Stobart
I get loads of emails from people wanting housing advice. My main ‘product’ just now is my membership site http://www.landlordlaw.co.uk. If I feel sorry for them or if I think that they might join if given a bit of encouragement, I will do a partial reply and then forward them on to the site.
Other wise I say “That is the sort of question I answer on the members discussion forum of my membership site” and give them a link.
For stuff I don’t do I have an arrangement with a property solicitor that he will do advice for a fixed fee (its £60 but I get £10 of it) – so I refer them on to the page where they can read about it and pay for it. Funny how few people we hear from after that!
Twitter: TessaShepperson
I find this all really interesting as somehow who is fairly new to social media and blogging, which is a complete new world, I constantly feel I need help. Technology does not sit easy with me and I live and die by the pile of Dummies for ..everything… by my side and often struggle with what really is basic stuff to others.
There are a lot of wonderful people on Twitter who are very generous with their advice but where do I draw the line in asking for help.
I would find it so much easier if after maybe the first or second contact it was made clear that there was a pricing structure in place. Now I dont have heaps of money to throw around and am on a very tight budget but I still want to learn but do not want to be seen as someone taking advantage. I would rather be told no, you now have to pay, than just to be ignored and thought badly of. I know I am not happy with the customer, who has in the past got me to do a fitting, then told me now that she knew her size she was going to buy from her mail order catalogue!
So it can be awkward from both sides of the fence to find that happy medium.
Rosanne I lovingly typed…A day in the life of…
Twitter: rosalingerie