My older niece is 17 and the boys, booze and bad behaviour issues are where she is at right now. She knows she can talk to me when she wants to – but I neither lecture not admonish, just offer gently delivered advice because I don’t want to stop her telling me what she is up to. If she thinks I will automatically tell her Mother or give her a hard time about it, she won’t talk to me about what’s happening. What I think is important, is that I know the places she goes and about her social life, so if it should be necessary to find her or address what she’s doing, then I can do that. At the moment, thankfully, there’s nothing so serious that I feel the need to step in.

Being a teenager is as much about learning as any other stage of life, but at this point they are learning how to manage more adult (and more scary) issues, like alchohol, sex and so on. Just like at any other time, there’s a certain amount of learning by your mistakes. I reckon you’ve got it right; stay on the sidelines and only step in if you need to. But then I might just be a baaaaad aunty;)

My older niece is 17 and the boys, booze and bad behaviour issues are where she is at right now. She knows she can talk to me when she wants to – but I neither lecture not admonish, just offer gently delivered advice because I don’t want to stop her telling me what she is up to. If she thinks I will automatically tell her Mother or give her a hard time about it, she won’t talk to me about what’s happening. What I think is important, is that I know the places she goes and about her social life, so if it should be necessary to find her or address what she’s doing, then I can do that. At the moment, thankfully, there’s nothing so serious that I feel the need to step in.

Being a teenager is as much about learning as any other stage of life, but at this point they are learning how to manage more adult (and more scary) issues, like alchohol, sex and so on. Just like at any other time, there’s a certain amount of learning by your mistakes. I reckon you’ve got it right; stay on the sidelines and only step in if you need to. But then I might just be a baaaaad aunty;)

Not having good role models in my parents means that I look to my friends more, perhaps, and I read what I can while also listening to my gut feeling about things. But when it comes down to it, they’ll do what they’re going to do. I just hope that by knowing they are loved and always have me here for them, by feeling confident in themselves and their opinions on life, love and the universe, they’ll turn out just fine. The thing is – they’ll turn out how they’re going to turn out and there’s not that much I can do about it. My parents tried hard to mould me and it didn’t work – indeed I went off the rails (not in the worst way, thankfully) and it then took me a generation to build confidence in me. I know my kids are good people and that the best way I can guide them is by being true to myself.
Twitter: babssaul

Not having good role models in my parents means that I look to my friends more, perhaps, and I read what I can while also listening to my gut feeling about things. But when it comes down to it, they’ll do what they’re going to do. I just hope that by knowing they are loved and always have me here for them, by feeling confident in themselves and their opinions on life, love and the universe, they’ll turn out just fine. The thing is – they’ll turn out how they’re going to turn out and there’s not that much I can do about it. My parents tried hard to mould me and it didn’t work – indeed I went off the rails (not in the worst way, thankfully) and it then took me a generation to build confidence in me. I know my kids are good people and that the best way I can guide them is by being true to myself.
Twitter: babssaul