When I was pondering a possible subject for this blog, I found it very difficult to think of anything that wasn’t apocalyptic in nature. I don’t know if it’s because I’m now 44, or because the menopause is presumably lurking, or because the world really is going to hell in a handbasket, but there you go. I’ve even started to enjoy the Daily Mail, which fills me with horror.
Anyway, I’m going to talk about parenting.
I’ll say here and now that I probably don’t parent in the way that most middle class people in this country do nowadays. I cannot bear the way it seems to be accepted that Mum is the family’s personal slave, carrying bags and coats, organizing every waking moment, domestic drudge par excellence etc.
I was raised with my mother’s view that being a mother is about training a child for independence, not about being their slave.
When I see mothers at the school gate happily carrying all their child’s unwanted clothing and bags on the way home, I wonder exactly what message we are teaching them (especially the boys): that mothers are packhorses, or that women in general are? Either way, it’s not good. And so many parents seem oblivious to the messages they are giving out.
Right from their first day at school, my boys carried their own bags and wore their own coats. Other children whom I sometimes walked to school, knew after the first day that handing me their stuff was simply not an option. And you know what? It didn’t bother them in the slightest, once they got over their initial surprise.
I’m sure my own boys would make the most of other adults carrying their stuff for them if they could get away with it. But they know not to try it with me.
Which leads me on to personal responsibility. Children need to be responsible for their own stuff and their own choices. How many parents here are dutifully cleaning out pet cages and walking dogs that their child begged for and have never so much as looked at since they arrived?
Thought so. I’ve been there as well, I will admit. In the end, one hamster died and one rabbit got given away. It took my son three weeks to notice the rabbit and monster-sized hutch were not there. When he did, he wailed and moaned at how much he missed Fluffy, but he can’t have missed him that much, if it took him three weeks to notice his absence. Since then, I have held firm on pets, until they can demonstrate to me that they will accept responsibility for one. Being able to keep a virtual pet alive for at least a month is the minimum step required. It hasn’t happened yet.
My children have also walked themselves to school (about 500 yards away) since they were 6. My 9 year old is now insisting on walking himself home as well, so he gets to do it. Other parents’ eyebrows are raised, and I’ve even been told (wrongly) that it is illegal to allow this.
Sometimes, I leave them alone in the house (my son is alone at home as I type this at work), which causes massive consternation amongst my friends. One friend told me that I couldn’t do this, in case my son fell down the stairs while I was absent.
It seems that the main driving force is fear that other people will find out you have been a bad parent. After all, even if I were in the house and my son inexplicably fell down the stairs (he’s never done it yet, but I suppose it could happen), would I be at the bottom to catch him? Of course not. I’d be elsewhere in the house.
Yes, it’s true that if anything had happened while they were alone in the house, I would be in trouble for leaving them there. As a single mother, I am in no doubt that they would be removed from my care, even though I would believe the authorities to be making a huge mistake. I just choose not to operate on the “what if something happened?” principle. Life is too short.
Too many parents seem to believe that they can eliminate all risk from their children’s lives by cosseting them. Their children learn to rely on the adult to watch out for traffic, to troubleshoot all problems.
You cannot eliminate risk. All you end up doing is not teaching children how to assess and deal with risk.
And this benefits them how? You’d better hope that your kids get lost in the company of mine, because mine are problem-solvers! In fact, I often say you could drop Bob in central Paris and tell him to find his way home to Maidstone – I have every confidence that he would, despite being only 11.
Of course, you get the hysterical types, who assure you it is not safe for children to be without the constant supervision of an adult because there are paedophiles lurking on every corner. In actual fact, despite the massive increase in communication caused by the internet, there are no more perverts out there than there ever were. The Government and the Daily Mail like to rule by fear.
I’ll also tell you this, whether you choose to believe me or not: if there is a pervert out there, looking for a child to pick up, the very last person they will choose is the self-confident child, because they don’t know how they will react. They will look for the young child who is used to making no decisions, being directed everywhere by an adult from whom they have got separated for some reason. They will avoid my children like the plague.
I am nowhere near a perfect mother. Quite the opposite, in practical terms. More than once, my children have reminded me at 9pm that they have not yet been fed (I solved that one by teaching them to fend for themselves in the kitchen!).
When my husband was in his hospital bed, dying of cancer, I found myself sobbing – not for him or even for me, but for my children. I was sure I would destroy their childhood, because he had been such a good father for their formative years (and effectively allowed me to get away with being a bad mummy). He gently took my hand and told me not to worry, that the boys (aged 4 and 6) were as they were because of me, not because of him. He gave me the confidence to carry on parenting as I had always done, and I believe it has been for the best for them.
Our children will grow up to be thoughtful and responsible adults despite our parenting rather than because of it. So we all ought to worry less about what other people think and do what feels right to us. It will all work out in the end.
What about you? Do you find your parenting decisions are influenced by what other people say? Do you even know why you make the decisions you do?
Morag Gaherty
Morag is the owner of the Nappy Lady, where parents can get recyclable nappies.
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You know it’s odd that the stuff parenting guru teach today is no different from what the top dog trainers teach; good girl, sit, no, stay. Its crazy. Kids are not puppies. They have reduced parenting in to a system; follow the steps and your good to go. Parenting decisions must come from the heart. Let kids be kids, it will all work out in the end.
Yes, I think we overworry about far too much these days when it comes to our children! Though sometimes it would be nice if my children WERE dogs, who could be taught obedience.
You know it’s odd that the stuff parenting guru teach today is no different from what the top dog trainers teach; good girl, sit, no, stay. Its crazy. Kids are not puppies. They have reduced parenting in to a system; follow the steps and your good to go. Parenting decisions must come from the heart. Let kids be kids, it will all work out in the end.
Yes, I think we overworry about far too much these days when it comes to our children! Though sometimes it would be nice if my children WERE dogs, who could be taught obedience.
Morag,
I agree with a lot of what you say – I am bringing my girls up to be independent – one day I won’t be here and I need to be sure they can cope with whatever the world throws at them and the best way for me is to encourage them to explore and define their boundaries by their own abilities rather than prescribed milestones!
I had the same with the school run with my eldest daughter, 500 yards to the school as visible from the house window… and was greeted with abuse from the other mums for letting my daughter go on her own! with several taunts of “we’ll tell social services you are neglecting your daughter!”
I am amazed that people think being a good parent is doing everything for the child, how do they learn to support themselves?
Exactly. I don’t think many of these parents who berate us actually think about what their parenting is doing.
I also have a sneaking suspicion that many of these people who organise their kids’ lives from the moment they wake up till the moment they go to bed are simply giving themselves an alibi for when their kids are adults and find they are not the Prime Minister or something – “well, you can’t blame me. I gave you every advantage.”
Many of the world’s best entrepreneurs came from a background where no-one gave them any help at all. I don’t think that’s coincidental. They learned to access their own resources.
That’s a very interesting view, I think the stats would back that up.
My own dad crawled out of the gutter and made himself a success, and if he could it with no education, no money and only his enthusiasm, then what excuse do the rest of us have?
Does everyone have to be able to blame someone else rather than their own ability or inability for success/failure? Are parents really accountable for the success of their children?
I’l turn that question on its head, because you’re the very person who blamed your own parents’ poor model to you for your parenting issues – my argument being that once anyone is aware, none of us have any excuse for blaming anyone else!
Morag,
I agree with a lot of what you say – I am bringing my girls up to be independent – one day I won’t be here and I need to be sure they can cope with whatever the world throws at them and the best way for me is to encourage them to explore and define their boundaries by their own abilities rather than prescribed milestones!
I had the same with the school run with my eldest daughter, 500 yards to the school as visible from the house window… and was greeted with abuse from the other mums for letting my daughter go on her own! with several taunts of “we’ll tell social services you are neglecting your daughter!”
I am amazed that people think being a good parent is doing everything for the child, how do they learn to support themselves?
Exactly. I don’t think many of these parents who berate us actually think about what their parenting is doing.
I also have a sneaking suspicion that many of these people who organise their kids’ lives from the moment they wake up till the moment they go to bed are simply giving themselves an alibi for when their kids are adults and find they are not the Prime Minister or something – “well, you can’t blame me. I gave you every advantage.”
Many of the world’s best entrepreneurs came from a background where no-one gave them any help at all. I don’t think that’s coincidental. They learned to access their own resources.
That’s a very interesting view, I think the stats would back that up.
My own dad crawled out of the gutter and made himself a success, and if he could it with no education, no money and only his enthusiasm, then what excuse do the rest of us have?
Does everyone have to be able to blame someone else rather than their own ability or inability for success/failure? Are parents really accountable for the success of their children?
I’l turn that question on its head, because you’re the very person who blamed your own parents’ poor model to you for your parenting issues – my argument being that once anyone is aware, none of us have any excuse for blaming anyone else!
I must admit that I used to be a bit of an over-worrying (lone) mum – not the “helicopter” variety but I suppose just not realising how quickly kids grow up.
I learned my lesson when my son was about 14-15. He was going to leave his school, get the train into London, then the Underground to the other side of London to meet up with some friends and eventually come back home by train as a group.
I carefully wrote out a route plan for him from the train station to the “tube” stations, which lines to get, which directions, where to change, etc. etc. It took me some time and I thought I was being a thoroughly responsible parent to complete it neatly so he could read it, etc.
The next day when we had a chat about his evening I asked him if the route plan had worked out OK. “Oh,” he murmured casually, “I didn’t use it. I realised it would be cheaper and quicker to get a bus to (another town) and then a direct tube link to (meeting place in London”) so I did that instead.
Sure put me back in my place, huh.;-)
I’ve not been especially casual in bringing my son up but I have been keen to instill a sense of self-discipline in him. That has meant letting him find out things himself – often the hard way – rather than imposing rules and restrictions. I’ve never been the controlling type and have never tried to control him – I’ve seen too many angry, bitter, parentally-controlled teenagers taking their frustration out elsewhere. What rules we had and still have, have been developed by agreement between us.
I’m delighted to say he is turning into a confident, relaxed young man (18 next week) – probably would have anyway, but I hope I’ve had some sort of an influence there!
Twitter: SuzeStMWrites
I love the sound of your son, Suzan! Yes, parents can be very controlling and it never helps.
I must admit that I used to be a bit of an over-worrying (lone) mum – not the “helicopter” variety but I suppose just not realising how quickly kids grow up.
I learned my lesson when my son was about 14-15. He was going to leave his school, get the train into London, then the Underground to the other side of London to meet up with some friends and eventually come back home by train as a group.
I carefully wrote out a route plan for him from the train station to the “tube” stations, which lines to get, which directions, where to change, etc. etc. It took me some time and I thought I was being a thoroughly responsible parent to complete it neatly so he could read it, etc.
The next day when we had a chat about his evening I asked him if the route plan had worked out OK. “Oh,” he murmured casually, “I didn’t use it. I realised it would be cheaper and quicker to get a bus to (another town) and then a direct tube link to (meeting place in London”) so I did that instead.
Sure put me back in my place, huh.;-)
I’ve not been especially casual in bringing my son up but I have been keen to instill a sense of self-discipline in him. That has meant letting him find out things himself – often the hard way – rather than imposing rules and restrictions. I’ve never been the controlling type and have never tried to control him – I’ve seen too many angry, bitter, parentally-controlled teenagers taking their frustration out elsewhere. What rules we had and still have, have been developed by agreement between us.
I’m delighted to say he is turning into a confident, relaxed young man (18 next week) – probably would have anyway, but I hope I’ve had some sort of an influence there!
Twitter: SuzeStMWrites
I love the sound of your son, Suzan! Yes, parents can be very controlling and it never helps.
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This is the kind fo knotty issue that makes me glad I’m not a parent
As a child, I was very much over protected by a stepmother who thinks of the world as a very dangerous place – and I really had to fight for my independence as a teenager. I do think parental influence can have a long lasting effect.
On the other hand, my husband was brought up by a single mother who in my opinion went too far in the other direction – albeit out of necessity. As an example, when he was five with mumps, he was left home alone with only a neighbour to look in on him at lunch time.
Yes, he grew up independent and self reliant – but I also think he missed out on having any kind fo childhood at all. The idea of interdependence and letting someone look after him sometimes is till somewhat difficult for him to grasp.
I do sometimes wonder at the children of my friends who seem to have some activity planned for every waking moment – and no freedom at all.
My older son is 11 going on 30. If you put him in a room with 20 adults and 20 children, he will gravitate towards the adults, from his own choice. One of my friends insists he “should” play with the children. I would agree, if I were stopping him from playing with children, but I am not. It is his personal choice, and I am happy for him to make his choice.
As a single parent, it is indeed sometimes necessary to leave my children on their own, because there is no alternative parent to fall back on for support. So I understand your friend’s mumps dilemma (though I am fortunate that I would be able not to have to leave an ill child). At the same time, I would not criticise her, because her choices were limited. She did the best she could. I don’t imagine your husband’s difficulty in understanding interdependence was formed by a single episode in childhood, but by a history.
None of us are perfect, and none of our parents are either. However, as we grow to be more self-aware adults, I would hope we can all learn to outgrow our histories.
No, indeed – it was one example of many. Part of a pattern. And yes, I understand that she had difficult choices – but some of them crossed a line that for me are clearly wrong.
As to whether it is possible to outgrow our histories – I think that depends on the individual – and on the amount and kind of damage that was done, and how early.
For example, I have a friend who adopted a young boy aged two, who unknown to her at the time was seriously abused before she became his mother. I’m not talking about benign neglect here, of course. In spite of her years of plenty of love and good parenting, his emotional problems never really resolved, and he got into progressively deeper trouble, until at 18 he ended up in prison after stabbing another young man – and it was only sheer luck that it wasn’t fatal. Eight years on and she is still standing by him and supporting him, and he is now out of prison and a father himself, and looks like he is turning his life around.
Their story is one that gives me a great deal of hope – but it took a lot on her part and his to create that happy ending, as well as some luck.
Zack can be like that too Morag – he finds many kids his own age really noisy and chaotic. He also, as an only child, can’t get his head round “mum, he said .. she said” stuff – he doesn’t understand why children aren’t more collaborative in their behaviour as that’s how he is!
Twitter: dreamingspain
This is the kind fo knotty issue that makes me glad I’m not a parent
As a child, I was very much over protected by a stepmother who thinks of the world as a very dangerous place – and I really had to fight for my independence as a teenager. I do think parental influence can have a long lasting effect.
On the other hand, my husband was brought up by a single mother who in my opinion went too far in the other direction – albeit out of necessity. As an example, when he was five with mumps, he was left home alone with only a neighbour to look in on him at lunch time.
Yes, he grew up independent and self reliant – but I also think he missed out on having any kind fo childhood at all. The idea of interdependence and letting someone look after him sometimes is till somewhat difficult for him to grasp.
I do sometimes wonder at the children of my friends who seem to have some activity planned for every waking moment – and no freedom at all.
My older son is 11 going on 30. If you put him in a room with 20 adults and 20 children, he will gravitate towards the adults, from his own choice. One of my friends insists he “should” play with the children. I would agree, if I were stopping him from playing with children, but I am not. It is his personal choice, and I am happy for him to make his choice.
As a single parent, it is indeed sometimes necessary to leave my children on their own, because there is no alternative parent to fall back on for support. So I understand your friend’s mumps dilemma (though I am fortunate that I would be able not to have to leave an ill child). At the same time, I would not criticise her, because her choices were limited. She did the best she could. I don’t imagine your husband’s difficulty in understanding interdependence was formed by a single episode in childhood, but by a history.
None of us are perfect, and none of our parents are either. However, as we grow to be more self-aware adults, I would hope we can all learn to outgrow our histories.
No, indeed – it was one example of many. Part of a pattern. And yes, I understand that she had difficult choices – but some of them crossed a line that for me are clearly wrong.
As to whether it is possible to outgrow our histories – I think that depends on the individual – and on the amount and kind of damage that was done, and how early.
For example, I have a friend who adopted a young boy aged two, who unknown to her at the time was seriously abused before she became his mother. I’m not talking about benign neglect here, of course. In spite of her years of plenty of love and good parenting, his emotional problems never really resolved, and he got into progressively deeper trouble, until at 18 he ended up in prison after stabbing another young man – and it was only sheer luck that it wasn’t fatal. Eight years on and she is still standing by him and supporting him, and he is now out of prison and a father himself, and looks like he is turning his life around.
Their story is one that gives me a great deal of hope – but it took a lot on her part and his to create that happy ending, as well as some luck.
Zack can be like that too Morag – he finds many kids his own age really noisy and chaotic. He also, as an only child, can’t get his head round “mum, he said .. she said” stuff – he doesn’t understand why children aren’t more collaborative in their behaviour as that’s how he is!
Twitter: dreamingspain
Wow: This is a huge subject, isn’t it?
My mind went off (as it tends to) in loads of different directions…
What if parenting came with a manual? Wouldn’t you need to take into account language (and interpretation), culture, community,diet, religion, little wotsit’s birth sign, moon, year of birth… No – you’d still be working out which feeds and best times when junior had grown up and was about to her- or himself become a parent…
Maybe you could complete an online questionnaire (spooky for anyone to know that much about your little one from day one)…
And who’d write it? Whose advice would you want to take? Psychologists, sociologists, nutritionists…?
Utter minefield
!
Luckily, my grey cells settled on the wonderfully down to earth comment my partner replied with when I commented years ago that life is SO confusing for kids: One moment they say something and the fond parental response is:
“Isn’t he/she clever!”
Another time, to something virtually the same as far as they’re concerned, and they get:
“Don’t be cheeky!”
And he came back with:
“Ah… but they don’t take into account the hangover factor…”
Twitter: Linda_Mattacks
LOL @ Linda!
That reminds me of the remark someone made that you spend the first two years of your children’s lives teaching them to walk and talk, and the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut up.
Much as the “experts” like to define what is and is not good parenting, I have a horrible feeling that there are no right or wrong ways. Each family is different; each parent is different; and each child is different.
That’s the frightening bit, because essentially you, as a parent, are busking it. The theories are all well and good but in practical terms they don’t always work. You have to take the information on board, of course, but then you need to interpret it and adapt to suit your own circumstances. That’s where the busking comes in.
Still, if we parents were that lousy at parenting our planet would not be looking at a population of around 7 billion next year. So we must be doing something right…
Twitter: SuzeStMWrites
“So we must be doing something right…”
Nookie first; booze after
? Or was that just TOO facetious
?
Twitter: Linda_Mattacks
Wow: This is a huge subject, isn’t it?
My mind went off (as it tends to) in loads of different directions…
What if parenting came with a manual? Wouldn’t you need to take into account language (and interpretation), culture, community,diet, religion, little wotsit’s birth sign, moon, year of birth… No – you’d still be working out which feeds and best times when junior had grown up and was about to her- or himself become a parent…
Maybe you could complete an online questionnaire (spooky for anyone to know that much about your little one from day one)…
And who’d write it? Whose advice would you want to take? Psychologists, sociologists, nutritionists…?
Utter minefield
!
Luckily, my grey cells settled on the wonderfully down to earth comment my partner replied with when I commented years ago that life is SO confusing for kids: One moment they say something and the fond parental response is:
“Isn’t he/she clever!”
Another time, to something virtually the same as far as they’re concerned, and they get:
“Don’t be cheeky!”
And he came back with:
“Ah… but they don’t take into account the hangover factor…”
Twitter: Linda_Mattacks
LOL @ Linda!
That reminds me of the remark someone made that you spend the first two years of your children’s lives teaching them to walk and talk, and the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut up.
Much as the “experts” like to define what is and is not good parenting, I have a horrible feeling that there are no right or wrong ways. Each family is different; each parent is different; and each child is different.
That’s the frightening bit, because essentially you, as a parent, are busking it. The theories are all well and good but in practical terms they don’t always work. You have to take the information on board, of course, but then you need to interpret it and adapt to suit your own circumstances. That’s where the busking comes in.
Still, if we parents were that lousy at parenting our planet would not be looking at a population of around 7 billion next year. So we must be doing something right…
Twitter: SuzeStMWrites
“So we must be doing something right…”
Nookie first; booze after
? Or was that just TOO facetious
?
Twitter: Linda_Mattacks
Brilliant blog Morag – absolutely 100% my philosophy on parenting … Like your boys, my son knows to not even go there with “stuff” .. in fact these days when we go for a walk he only takes what will fit in his own pockets or takes a rucksack.
The children in Spain are the nightmare husbands of tomorrow – taught by their mother’s misguided parenting to be useless around the house, and to expect their wives to wash, clean, cook and wipe all day, and be there legs akimbo at night at their whim. NOT a philosophy I subscribe to at all.
My son is a capable cook, knows how to clean, wash and tidy and has 100% responsibility for the cat other than giving her injections. Ok I have to prompt from time to time, but he knows not to even think of using me as his skivvy.
I agree – we are there to create tomorrow’s husbands and fathers. We owe it to tomorrow’s wives and mothers to do a good job. And vice versa.
Twitter: dreamingspain
I have to say, Amanda, whenever I hear about layabout and frankly abusive men (and I do realise this is a gross generalisation), my first thought is: well that’s what their mother taught them to be!
I’ve often said to my boys that their future partners will thank me for not being a paragon of a mother, so they have nothing to live up to!
I watched a Jamie Oliver TEDtalk, in which he suggested that all children should learn 10 recipes off by heart for the future, and this is my current philosophy for my boys. I think it’s a great idea to teach kids to be independent in the kitchen.
Brilliant blog Morag – absolutely 100% my philosophy on parenting … Like your boys, my son knows to not even go there with “stuff” .. in fact these days when we go for a walk he only takes what will fit in his own pockets or takes a rucksack.
The children in Spain are the nightmare husbands of tomorrow – taught by their mother’s misguided parenting to be useless around the house, and to expect their wives to wash, clean, cook and wipe all day, and be there legs akimbo at night at their whim. NOT a philosophy I subscribe to at all.
My son is a capable cook, knows how to clean, wash and tidy and has 100% responsibility for the cat other than giving her injections. Ok I have to prompt from time to time, but he knows not to even think of using me as his skivvy.
I agree – we are there to create tomorrow’s husbands and fathers. We owe it to tomorrow’s wives and mothers to do a good job. And vice versa.
Twitter: dreamingspain
I have to say, Amanda, whenever I hear about layabout and frankly abusive men (and I do realise this is a gross generalisation), my first thought is: well that’s what their mother taught them to be!
I’ve often said to my boys that their future partners will thank me for not being a paragon of a mother, so they have nothing to live up to!
I watched a Jamie Oliver TEDtalk, in which he suggested that all children should learn 10 recipes off by heart for the future, and this is my current philosophy for my boys. I think it’s a great idea to teach kids to be independent in the kitchen.
wow this get’s my head exploding in several different directions too. Firstly, I think who are we to judge how another parent chooses to bring up their child/ren? Those mothers/parents you see out there ‘holding all’ may have a different story about why they do this, to the one we perceive. What if their parent/s didn’t do that for them and they want to do that to make their child feel loved?
I guess it’s a sore point for me too having a child with aspergers syndrome, that to all intents and purposes ‘looks’ like your average child only I KNOW that he has fine motor, and social skills and other difficulties which means I HAVE to do things for him at times but I know others think I am cossetting him, when actually he has difficulty with things. I have to tell people he has aspergers because it upsets me the way people judge from the outside.
Having a teenage daughter too, as well as my 7 year old with aspergers, and being on my own I often wish I had a manual to help with me with tricky situations . . . my gosh, I may have been a teenage girl once, but believe me I get stumped. And gosh, if I hadn’t gone on a course to learn about aspergers I would have continued to this day to think my son was being deliberately naughty and wanting to be cossetted by not getting dressed properly etc when in fact it causes him trouble!!
Interesting and thought provoking post indeed. Thank you.
Amelia.
wow this get’s my head exploding in several different directions too. Firstly, I think who are we to judge how another parent chooses to bring up their child/ren? Those mothers/parents you see out there ‘holding all’ may have a different story about why they do this, to the one we perceive. What if their parent/s didn’t do that for them and they want to do that to make their child feel loved?
I guess it’s a sore point for me too having a child with aspergers syndrome, that to all intents and purposes ‘looks’ like your average child only I KNOW that he has fine motor, and social skills and other difficulties which means I HAVE to do things for him at times but I know others think I am cossetting him, when actually he has difficulty with things. I have to tell people he has aspergers because it upsets me the way people judge from the outside.
Having a teenage daughter too, as well as my 7 year old with aspergers, and being on my own I often wish I had a manual to help with me with tricky situations . . . my gosh, I may have been a teenage girl once, but believe me I get stumped. And gosh, if I hadn’t gone on a course to learn about aspergers I would have continued to this day to think my son was being deliberately naughty and wanting to be cossetted by not getting dressed properly etc when in fact it causes him trouble!!
Interesting and thought provoking post indeed. Thank you.
Amelia.
I don’t have children so don’t feel qualified to comment on the parenting aspect other than to say I agree with the theory of what you’re saying, but I think you seriously need to nip that Daily Mail problem in the bud;)
I don’t have children so don’t feel qualified to comment on the parenting aspect other than to say I agree with the theory of what you’re saying, but I think you seriously need to nip that Daily Mail problem in the bud;)