I'm having a baby not giving up my life….
Like most women, when I first found out I was pregnant I wanted to tell the world. Unlike most pregnant women, my ‘world’ consists of thousands of people I hardly know, hundreds I know really well and a few close friends, along with thousands of people who know me but I don’t know them at all. My online ‘contacts’ are a big part of my world and my first instinct was to announce it to everyone on Facebook, Twitter and a few other networks.
Luckily I restrained myself, and told people slowly, starting with family (obviously), close friends, then people I knew well and clients.
The reaction of clients and potential clients tended to fall into 3 camps:
1 – “Wow, congratulations, that’s great” (you know who you are, thanks guys!)
2 – “Oh, well we weren’t expecting that, but congratulations anyway” (Thanks to you lot as well!)
3 – “Who is going to run your business and service us?”
It’s to the third group of people I’m addressing this post.
In order to answer them I need to take you back a little while – 15 and a half years to be precise.
I was a naive 21 year old single parent. I was divorced and lived in a pretty hovel like council house in Northamptonshire with my 2 and a half year old daughter, Leigh.
I looked around me at others in my situation and knew that I didn’t want to be on benefits for the rest of my life, or taking the temporary jobs I was taking in order to make ends meet. I needed a career not a job. So I looked at what was happening in the business world. I knew nothing about business, nothing about working for yourself, and had no discernible skills. I was 21, had dropped out of A levels, become pregnant at 18, given birth at 19, got married at 19 and was divorced by 21. I was a statistic, nothing more and nothing less, with not much hope of being anything else.
And then I discovered the Internet. I worked double shifts at temporary factory jobs and got together enough money to buy my first computer. My mother looked after my daughter, without her I’d still be in that same council house wondering when I could ‘get out’ and ‘make something of myself’.
I set myself up as a web designer. I was rubbish. But I found I was good at promoting sites and seeing what made them sell, making them work. In those days a webiste was a huge part of a marketing budget and largely unproven, so I made calls, I went out and networked, I knocked on doors and I sent out mailshots.
I stayed up until 4am putting stamps on envelopes. I waited until my daughter was asleep to post ads online and send emailshots. I worked around her, taking her to playschool every day and rushing back to do a couple of hours work, picking her up and spending time in the park, making calls while she had her afternoon nap, putting work to one side while it was dinner and bathtime, and picking it up again when she was in bed.
And slowly and surely I built a business. A reputation even. Me, on my own, with a 2 year old child, a mum who babysat and helped out where she could, and no other real support. (And let’s not forget, with no real knowledge of what I was doing – we were all learning as we went along in those days!).
I also built up a bank balance and moved out of the council house, rented offices for my business and started hiring. I was taken on by a marketing company to integrate my company with their web business, and paid well for it. I decided to branch out again on my own in 2003.
Now let’s fast forward to today.
I’m 36, have a fantastic 17 and a half year old daughter, a great partner who understands the odd hours I work, and a team around me who I believe are second to none.
I still get up early and work ‘the early shift’, followed by a couple of hours of downtime, a burst in the afternoon, and often work long into the evening. It’s what I’m used to, what I’ve always done, and it works for me.
With Rob doing Adwords, Mark writing articles, Leigh and Helen doing Admin, Shaun and Bob selling and me doing the promotion and SEO, our little team works well together and we have quite a well oiled machine going.
I don’t have to build a business anymore – I’m lucky that I have people enquiring about my services all the time, and the leads keep coming in. We take on the clients we want to work with and turn away those that we can’t or don’t think we can help.
So yes, I am going to have a baby, and the hours I work in the first few months may be even odder than they are right now (I don’t think I have a client who HASN’T received a work related email from me at 1am!), but I’m still loads better off than I was 15 years ago.
So to answer your question of “Who is going to run your business and service us?”
I am.
Have you seen our Small Business Blogging special offer? http://www.nikkipilkington.com/social-media-marketing/small-business-blogging-offer
http://www.nikkipilkington.com
nikki@nikkipilkington.com
Twitter: @NikkiPilkington
About Sarah ArrowSarah Arrow is the managing editor of Birds on the Blog, in real life she is the communications director of a same day courier service. She is an enthusiastic UK based pro-blogger and co- author of the soon to be published Zero to Blogger
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75 Responses to I'm having a baby not giving up my life….
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Just read Nick’s comment and wish I had written it – couldn’t agree more
Nick: In no way wanting to detract from Nikki (I wouldn’t dare!
or the words of the ladies who’ve already commented -
Part of me initially agrees with you yet I’m inclined to believe that it’s more a case of “empty vessels make most noise” here.
I reckon that there are many more women like Nikki but we just don’t hear about them often enough – they’re too busy getting on with things…
Rock on, Nikki!
Twitter: comfort_selling
Nick: In no way wanting to detract from Nikki (I wouldn’t dare!
or the words of the ladies who’ve already commented -
Part of me initially agrees with you yet I’m inclined to believe that it’s more a case of “empty vessels make most noise” here.
I reckon that there are many more women like Nikki but we just don’t hear about them often enough – they’re too busy getting on with things…
Rock on, Nikki!
Twitter: comfort_selling
Thanks for all the comments – lovely to have so much support.
I’ll remember them all when I’m curled up in a heap crying through lack of sleep and can’t think of anything to blog about other than sore nipples
Seriously, it’s an adventure I’m looking forward to and watching my clients, my business AND my baby grow from strength to strength will make for a very interesting 2010!
Twitter: nikkipilkington
Good for you Nikki, and wish you and your team the very best in 2010
Twitter: ethnicsupplies
Thanks for all the comments – lovely to have so much support.
I’ll remember them all when I’m curled up in a heap crying through lack of sleep and can’t think of anything to blog about other than sore nipples
Seriously, it’s an adventure I’m looking forward to and watching my clients, my business AND my baby grow from strength to strength will make for a very interesting 2010!
Twitter: nikkipilkington
Good for you Nikki, and wish you and your team the very best in 2010
Twitter: ethnicsupplies
Hummn, I’m not sure if I’m an “empty vessel here”
Before I go off in a huff, can you tell me why you initially agreed with me, but now presumably don’t? I would like to respond to your point Linda, but I cannot understand it enough to do so. My failing, no doubt.
Hummn, I’m not sure if I’m an “empty vessel here”
Before I go off in a huff, can you tell me why you initially agreed with me, but now presumably don’t? I would like to respond to your point Linda, but I cannot understand it enough to do so. My failing, no doubt.
I saw Linda as agreeing with you Nick, and saying that there are many more women out there coping with lives and businesses and babies without stopping to think about it . It’s the women you speak of, who say it’s their ‘right’ and make a big thing out of it who are the empty vessels, not you, as I see it?
I am sure Linda will correct me if I’m wrong!
Twitter: nikkipilkington
I saw Linda as agreeing with you Nick, and saying that there are many more women out there coping with lives and businesses and babies without stopping to think about it . It’s the women you speak of, who say it’s their ‘right’ and make a big thing out of it who are the empty vessels, not you, as I see it?
I am sure Linda will correct me if I’m wrong!
Twitter: nikkipilkington
Nikki, you’re an amazing person all around. I believe many, many people think your clients are lucky to have you as a part of their business strategy and understand that your talent will continue uninterrupted.
With the life you’ve lived so far, you’ve become successful through preparation for what comes next and what works well.
Nikki, you’re an amazing person all around. I believe many, many people think your clients are lucky to have you as a part of their business strategy and understand that your talent will continue uninterrupted.
With the life you’ve lived so far, you’ve become successful through preparation for what comes next and what works well.
People continue to work and deliver results through a variety of situations. Consider people battling cancer for months and years at a time who continue to do great work. Talents that remain at a person’s disposal after having a child will continue to serve others as before. As someone pointed out earlier, busy people have a knack of getting things done.
Like most of us, Nikki will be happy that people think OF her, she just never expects people to think FOR her. Therein lies a big difference which can only be an asset to the child fortunate enough to have her as a mother.
People continue to work and deliver results through a variety of situations. Consider people battling cancer for months and years at a time who continue to do great work. Talents that remain at a person’s disposal after having a child will continue to serve others as before. As someone pointed out earlier, busy people have a knack of getting things done.
Like most of us, Nikki will be happy that people think OF her, she just never expects people to think FOR her. Therein lies a big difference which can only be an asset to the child fortunate enough to have her as a mother.
Congratulations! great story.
Congratulations! great story.
Great article, think that the women who only work because they have to and would prefer to be with their kids then working are the ones who have given working moms a bad name. They were not dedicated before the kids so why would they become dedicated after. Whereas a person who has a career can balance kids and career and I am sure you will do it with ease.
Great article, think that the women who only work because they have to and would prefer to be with their kids then working are the ones who have given working moms a bad name. They were not dedicated before the kids so why would they become dedicated after. Whereas a person who has a career can balance kids and career and I am sure you will do it with ease.
Hey – congratulations Nikki!
What a very determined and hard working woman you are – a real inspiration. Looking forward to “sharing” your pregnancy via Twitter
Debs x
Hey – congratulations Nikki!
What a very determined and hard working woman you are – a real inspiration. Looking forward to “sharing” your pregnancy via Twitter
Debs x
Nikki
Many congratulations!!
May I say you are an amazing woman, an inspiration.
It does really scare me how to mix raising children with my own business aswell, I feel selfish about worrying about my business and wanting both (when it does happen) but as you’ve proved it can be done!!
Thanks
Julie
Nikki
Many congratulations!!
May I say you are an amazing woman, an inspiration.
It does really scare me how to mix raising children with my own business aswell, I feel selfish about worrying about my business and wanting both (when it does happen) but as you’ve proved it can be done!!
Thanks
Julie
Well done, Nikki! What a wonderful story. Your early life was much like mine, a single parent living in a council house. My route out was through teacher training and my constant supporters were my parents. I couldn’t have survived without them.
Now as I’m about to “retire” (not much!) from a fascinating and varied working life I’m setting up my own business at http://www.virtualbalance.co.uk to help other people who have conflicting pressures and busy lives to lead.
Congratulations both on the new baby and the thriving business!
Well done, Nikki! What a wonderful story. Your early life was much like mine, a single parent living in a council house. My route out was through teacher training and my constant supporters were my parents. I couldn’t have survived without them.
Now as I’m about to “retire” (not much!) from a fascinating and varied working life I’m setting up my own business at http://www.virtualbalance.co.uk to help other people who have conflicting pressures and busy lives to lead.
Congratulations both on the new baby and the thriving business!