So A Little Bit of Gossip Doesn’t Hurt Anyone – Does It?
A fellow bird – Nikki Pilkington, kindly let me know about a little bit of gossip that has spread like wildfire, and not in a good way.
Image via Wikipedia
Have you heard about the website ‘Little Gossip’ that is causing a BIG storm?
Discussion surrounding this controversial website can be found on the Daily Mail website, Mumsnet and Beatbullying Facebook page, so I thought I would do a little research of my own.
As I searched for the website ‘Little Gossip’ and clicked the link, I was asked to only enter if I was over the age of 18; as I sat there with my cursor hovering over the ‘I agree and enter’ button, I was more than a little uneasy to find out what was behind the poorly constructed, so called safety door that would magically prevent all young people under the age of 18 from entering!
Normally I would avoid any website that stated you needed to be 18 or over to enter.
On their Homepage they state –
‘Find the gossip in YOUR university/college/office about someone you know, rate it, or make your own!’
My heart sank!
As I always do, I searched for the ‘About’ information on the website, as well as read their Privacy Policy and Terms and Conditions, and to be quite honest I had a mixture of anger and sadness, as I read –
‘There is gossip in every community, and you can now search for gossip about someone you know, rate it, or make up your own! We wish to create some deep, clean, insightful and interesting conversation – as well as out and out gossip….’
I question the maturity and integrity of the person/s who wrote this! How on earth can you create deep, clean, insightful conversation from something as harmful as gossip?
But it’s ok though … they apparently rely on their users for moderation, so no worries there then!
‘We rely on our users for moderation and provide tools to remove any posts that may be racist or threatening.’
There is nothing ‘little’ about gossip, as Beatbullying states on their Facebook page ‘Little Gossip, Big Hurt’.
You know the old saying –
‘Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me!’
Well if there was ever a saying that got it so very wrong, this would be it!
The definition of ‘gossip’ is described by the Oxford Dictionary as –
‘Casual or unconstrained conversation or reports about other people, typically involving details which are not confirmed as true:’ (bold added by me)
Perhaps the people behind Little Gossip don’t understand the definition, if they wish to provide a tool for a deep, clean conversation?
This social networking site says that they want to promote a ‘positive vibe’ by encouraging discussion. They mention that the website is not there to be used as a tool for harassment, bullying, for inciting hatred, or for sharing content that would involve a young person under the age of 18… they include in their information that they do not allow schools, and will remove schools upon request, and provide links to websites who deal with cyberbullying, but there are still major flaws in the design, ethos and terms and conditions of this website. There are still concerns that many schools are still on the website.
The online world is a great place to share information anonymously; there are many, many ways of hiding. It’s amazing what people are comfortable talking about behind the comfort and security of their computer screens. I didn’t find any information about who created Little Gossip website. The only means of communicating with them is through a ‘contact us’ form.
All it takes is one small whisper of a rumour, to begin an incredibly destructive disease; ready to be passed on, to whoever wants to hear it. Little Gossip say that users have control, that they are given the means to ‘delete’ anything they feel is offensive, but if you choose to delete something, it must be replaced with a fun, light hearted comment: this unfortunately does not go far enough! Like the first few drops of seemingly innocent rain, it can quickly turn into a torrential rain storm, causing monumental damage! As we all know, the internet has a memory.
Many are outraged at the devastating effects that have already been seen by this irresponsible website. Cyberbullying is a major problem in the online world, and this website has just given it another platform to seek out new victims. I am not only very concerned about the impact on children and teenagers, I am also concerned for adults, as we know that bullying, intimidation, and harassment behaviour doesn’t just occur in childhood; and as we note from their opening website headline, they are aiming the site at university and college students, as well as those in the workplace.
The United Nations ‘Universal Declaration of Human Rights’ states in Article 19 that ‘everyone has a right to freedom of opinion and expression without interference and to seek, receive and impart information and ideas through any media…’ However, the right to free speech, as it is more commonly referred to, should not be taken in isolation and exclusion of the other 29 Articles; most notably in relation to this blog subject, such as Articles 1, 3, 5 (particularly relating to cruel, inhuman and degrading treatment), 12 (‘No one shall be subjected to arbitrary interference with his privacy, family, home or correspondence, nor to attacks upon his honour and reputation’), 28, 29 and 30 (‘Nothing in this Declaration may be interpreted as implying for any State, group or person any right to engage in any activity or to perform any act aimed at the destruction of any of the rights and freedoms set forth herein.’)
They say that you use the site at your own risk, well what about those who are not members of the website who are being targeted in the gossip? Where are their rights?
So what do you think? Where do you think the responsibility lies?
If you or someone you know is affected by bullying, please seek advice from charities such as Beatbullying, Kidscape and Bullying UK
I will be expressing my concerns to my local MP and talking about it on my Percy The Pigeon Anti-bullying Campaign Facebook Page as well as Twitter.
Will you join me?
……………………………………………….
I haven’t linked to the Little Gossip website on principle.
‘Little Gossip’ website information and bold quotes are taken from their Homepage, About, Privacy, Terms and Conditions and Safety Tips pages.
Quote re definition of gossip is taken from the Oxford Dictionary online site.
‘Little Gossip, Big Hurt’ quote is from Beatbullying Facebook page
Related articles
- Little Gossip website: Pupils defy ban on site to spread rumours (dailymail.co.uk)
About Anita HuntAnita Hunt specialises in botanical photography, and is the creator of beautiful, luxury greeting cards and gifts, inspired by the beauty of nature. You can join her on Twitter @NitaJoyDesigns and facebook. She is also a children's author and anti-bullying campaigner Are You Being Bullied?
View all posts by Anita Hunt →
6 Responses to So A Little Bit of Gossip Doesn’t Hurt Anyone – Does It?
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Excellent post, Anita.
I think it’s an absolute disgrace that this website remains open. I’ve been the victim of very unpleasant (and totally untrue) gossip and I found it extremely difficult to deal with as an adult – let alone as a child / adolescent, as many of the people who use this site will be. And I know how very difficult it would be for my own children if they were to find themselves the subject of anything nasty written on it. Once something is said, and then spreads, it’s almost impossible to defend oneself, to put the record straight, and, as you say, the internet has an especially long memory.
The responsibility for promoting this sort of potentially dangerous activity lies primarily with the people who are running the site (what on earth were they thinking?!) and then of course with the people who are writing the ‘gossip’: why give them yet another opportunity and vehicle for spreading hurt and misery – there are enough out there already.
Angela Boothroyd I lovingly typed…Phrasal verbs- idioms and sayings for Valentine’s Day
Twitter: StudyingOnline
Hi Angela,
Many thanks for your comment.
I agree it is absolutely disgraceful!
Here is the comment from the UK Council For Internet Safety -
http://news.bbc.co.uk/today/hi/today/newsid_9385000/9385963.stm
It may not be seen as illegal, (apart from the individual/s who are adding content, such as the threats of raping a teacher!) but surely we need to be doing more about stopping businesses such as Little Gossip… it’s a very large debate, and one that is very difficult, but must be talked about!
I am so sorry to hear that you have encounted such distress from the very damaging affects of gossip.
Anita I lovingly typed…Flowers For Your Valentine
Twitter: NitaJoyDesigns
This is a fantastic post and opens up a lot of Pandora’s boxes which people tend not to want to deal with.
There are four kinds of gossip. Before I list them, I think that perhaps we need new language because the dictionary definition only covers one.
The first, the passing on of true, positive news and comment about others, is the grist of human connection and is healthy.
The second is the innocent passing on of untrue or partly inaccurate information or comment about others but is harmless because it’s trivial.
The third is the passing on of true, but confidential information where someone cannot bear the weight of a secret. This can be damaging or trivial depending on the content and how widespread the secret breaking can be.
The fourth is the deliberate spreading of untrue and damaging information, dealt with in the blog.
Social interaction has arisen over centuries but until the 20th century no-one really began to look at how this works, how to create widespread consensus on where the boundaries should lie, and this is still very much a work in progress.
Sitting where I do, seeing the infinite harm, distress and agony that gossip and bullying can cause, I think this is a very serious problem. But it’s a problem that society doesn’t want to deal with because there is a glorious satisfaction in doing others down, and there are reasons why this happens which are too complex to deal with here.
On gossip as a bullying strategy by young people, I don’t think the need to hurt others is inborn since demonstrably some don’t indulge themselves. If casual bullying, poor boundaries and negativity about others is in the soup in someone’s family dynamic they are likely to act it out on others, because people don’t develop empathy and consideration for others fully until in their teens. The remedy, good parenting, role modelling ethics and consideration for others is still not widespread enough.
Lastly, I am particularly disturbed by the avalanche of nastiness which has been the grist of reality and other TV output in particular, although printmedia is also involved, in the last ten years, and while some of us are fighting for a more civilised way of relating to others, we are relentlessly being fed with the now enculturated view that nastiness and personal attacks are funny. Sorry this is so long guys.
Hi Rhiannon, many thanks for your comment.
I was hoping a counselling professional would add to the debate, so I really appreciate your comment.
Anita I lovingly typed…Flowers For Your Valentine
Twitter: NitaJoyDesigns
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