Comments on: We can have it all. Can’t we? http://www.birdsontheblog.co.uk/we-can-have-it-all-can%e2%80%99t-we/ Business Women of Opinion! Sun, 12 Feb 2012 11:12:44 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Morag http://www.birdsontheblog.co.uk/we-can-have-it-all-can%e2%80%99t-we/comment-page-1/#comment-9185 Morag Tue, 21 Sep 2010 23:39:00 +0000 http://www.birdsontheblog.co.uk/?p=902#comment-9185 My partner is divorced and his adult children (21 and 23) chose to live with him. The relationship with his ex-wife is amicable (heck, even I've had lunch with her!) and the children see both of them. However, whenever it is mentioned that the children live with him rather than with their mother, other people's reaction is always quite negative - they want to know why. As if it is not right that the situation is like this. In fact, the answer is very simple. It's a nice big house, they pay no board and lodging and - as he freely admits - he's by far the softer parent. So they choose to stay with him. My partner is divorced and his adult children (21 and 23) chose to live with him. The relationship with his ex-wife is amicable (heck, even I’ve had lunch with her!) and the children see both of them.

However, whenever it is mentioned that the children live with him rather than with their mother, other people’s reaction is always quite negative – they want to know why. As if it is not right that the situation is like this.

In fact, the answer is very simple. It’s a nice big house, they pay no board and lodging and – as he freely admits – he’s by far the softer parent. So they choose to stay with him.

]]> By: Ethnicsupplies http://www.birdsontheblog.co.uk/we-can-have-it-all-can%e2%80%99t-we/comment-page-1/#comment-683 Ethnicsupplies Fri, 29 Jan 2010 23:17:35 +0000 http://www.birdsontheblog.co.uk/?p=902#comment-683 A really thought provoking blog Jane. Here in the west we ahve made great in roads in as far as equality for women is concerned. On my travels in Africa I come across stories that leave me dumb founded! I came across a young woman who worked as an accountant for a small firm in Kampala Uganda. She went on maternity leave and when she failed to report for work 2 weeks after she had her baby her position was filled. Another woman I met her husband did not want her to have paid employment, so he locked her in their bedroom everyday whislt he went out to work. Fortuantely he forgot to lock the window so she would escape through the window to go to the office where she was employed as head of personnel. In the end he gave up! Will these attitudes ever change? I sincerely do no know A really thought provoking blog Jane.

Here in the west we ahve made great in roads in as far as equality for women is concerned. On my travels in Africa I come across stories that leave me dumb founded! I came across a young woman who worked as an accountant for a small firm in Kampala Uganda. She went on maternity leave and when she failed to report for work 2 weeks after she had her baby her position was filled. Another woman I met her husband did not want her to have paid employment, so he locked her in their bedroom everyday whislt he went out to work. Fortuantely he forgot to lock the window so she would escape through the window to go to the office where she was employed as head of personnel. In the end he gave up!

Will these attitudes ever change? I sincerely do no know
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]]> By: Ethnicsupplies http://www.birdsontheblog.co.uk/we-can-have-it-all-can%e2%80%99t-we/comment-page-1/#comment-7151 Ethnicsupplies Fri, 29 Jan 2010 23:17:00 +0000 http://www.birdsontheblog.co.uk/?p=902#comment-7151 A really thought provoking blog Jane. Here in the west we ahve made great in roads in as far as equality for women is concerned. On my travels in Africa I come across stories that leave me dumb founded! I came across a young woman who worked as an accountant for a small firm in Kampala Uganda. She went on maternity leave and when she failed to report for work 2 weeks after she had her baby her position was filled. Another woman I met her husband did not want her to have paid employment, so he locked her in their bedroom everyday whislt he went out to work. Fortuantely he forgot to lock the window so she would escape through the window to go to the office where she was employed as head of personnel. In the end he gave up! Will these attitudes ever change? I sincerely do no know A really thought provoking blog Jane.

Here in the west we ahve made great in roads in as far as equality for women is concerned. On my travels in Africa I come across stories that leave me dumb founded! I came across a young woman who worked as an accountant for a small firm in Kampala Uganda. She went on maternity leave and when she failed to report for work 2 weeks after she had her baby her position was filled. Another woman I met her husband did not want her to have paid employment, so he locked her in their bedroom everyday whislt he went out to work. Fortuantely he forgot to lock the window so she would escape through the window to go to the office where she was employed as head of personnel. In the end he gave up!

Will these attitudes ever change? I sincerely do no know
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]]> By: AnnG http://www.birdsontheblog.co.uk/we-can-have-it-all-can%e2%80%99t-we/comment-page-1/#comment-682 AnnG Fri, 29 Jan 2010 20:45:02 +0000 http://www.birdsontheblog.co.uk/?p=902#comment-682 Back to the PC thing, I think we have to perhaps learn to realise that it's not just the words that matter - it's really about discerning the intention. Not easy, I know, but still fundamental. Back to the PC thing, I think we have to perhaps learn to realise that it’s not just the words that matter – it’s really about discerning the intention.

Not easy, I know, but still fundamental.

]]> By: AnnG http://www.birdsontheblog.co.uk/we-can-have-it-all-can%e2%80%99t-we/comment-page-1/#comment-7150 AnnG Fri, 29 Jan 2010 20:45:00 +0000 http://www.birdsontheblog.co.uk/?p=902#comment-7150 Back to the PC thing, I think we have to perhaps learn to realise that it's not just the words that matter - it's really about discerning the intention. Not easy, I know, but still fundamental. Back to the PC thing, I think we have to perhaps learn to realise that it’s not just the words that matter – it’s really about discerning the intention.

Not easy, I know, but still fundamental.

]]> By: Jane http://www.birdsontheblog.co.uk/we-can-have-it-all-can%e2%80%99t-we/comment-page-1/#comment-681 Jane Fri, 29 Jan 2010 20:37:18 +0000 http://www.birdsontheblog.co.uk/?p=902#comment-681 Yes - interesting points. Good that they are a flexible employer, bad that they assume school hours would only appeal to women. Yes – interesting points. Good that they are a flexible employer, bad that they assume school hours would only appeal to women.
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]]> By: Jane http://www.birdsontheblog.co.uk/we-can-have-it-all-can%e2%80%99t-we/comment-page-1/#comment-7149 Jane Fri, 29 Jan 2010 20:37:00 +0000 http://www.birdsontheblog.co.uk/?p=902#comment-7149 Yes - interesting points. Good that they are a flexible employer, bad that they assume school hours would only appeal to women. Yes – interesting points. Good that they are a flexible employer, bad that they assume school hours would only appeal to women.
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]]> By: AnnG http://www.birdsontheblog.co.uk/we-can-have-it-all-can%e2%80%99t-we/comment-page-1/#comment-680 AnnG Fri, 29 Jan 2010 20:22:16 +0000 http://www.birdsontheblog.co.uk/?p=902#comment-680 A relevant picture here, on the Sociological Images blog - http://contexts.org/socimages/2010/01/29/mothers-hours/ A relevant picture here, on the Sociological Images blog -

http://contexts.org/socimages/2010/01/29/mothers-hours/

]]> By: AnnG http://www.birdsontheblog.co.uk/we-can-have-it-all-can%e2%80%99t-we/comment-page-1/#comment-7148 AnnG Fri, 29 Jan 2010 20:22:00 +0000 http://www.birdsontheblog.co.uk/?p=902#comment-7148 A relevant picture here, on the Sociological Images blog - http://contexts.org/socimages/2010/01/29/mothers-hours/ A relevant picture here, on the Sociological Images blog -

http://contexts.org/socimages/2010/01/29/mothers-hours/

]]> By: Jane http://www.birdsontheblog.co.uk/we-can-have-it-all-can%e2%80%99t-we/comment-page-1/#comment-679 Jane Fri, 29 Jan 2010 17:12:09 +0000 http://www.birdsontheblog.co.uk/?p=902#comment-679 Hi Ian - yes, excellent points. It is very much about stereotypes, and of course it will take a long time to challenge or change those. I'll be looking in future blogs about how that might be addressed, but I think it's a combination of education, training, media (that's a huge one), religion and culture generally. Legislation does have a role to play, and is sadly necessary, but not very effective (as we can see from the Equal Pay Act). Disability is a huge issue in terms of the attitudes of employers, and one I'm very conscious of, but I wanted these blogs to look at a range of aspects of diversity. Hi Ian – yes, excellent points. It is very much about stereotypes, and of course it will take a long time to challenge or change those. I’ll be looking in future blogs about how that might be addressed, but I think it’s a combination of education, training, media (that’s a huge one), religion and culture generally. Legislation does have a role to play, and is sadly necessary, but not very effective (as we can see from the Equal Pay Act).

Disability is a huge issue in terms of the attitudes of employers, and one I’m very conscious of, but I wanted these blogs to look at a range of aspects of diversity.
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